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On any given Tuesday at 1:30 pm, a cluster of long-term care residents at The New Jewish Home (TNJH) gathers for a one-half hour for what they call a “spirituality group”. I learned of the group soon after I began in my role when one of the Therapeutic Recreation staff shared with me that the residents on a unit would like to convene. They assemble almost weekly in a common area on their floor, and they receive different types of support from Spiritual Care either from one of our Program Interns, me, or a Chaplain Intern on that unit.
Inspired by one resident who is a former minister, the group of usually 6-7 residents convene in a side area of the communal dining room. Sister K often provides a booklet of Psalms. Residents take turns reading, and at any time, Sister K., or someone else interjects a comment or intention about part of the reading. She seems to enjoy providing some direction to the group and when I am there, I am frequently asked to read aloud or offer a reflection on potential meaning. Based on my understanding of the verse or drawing from a particular resource of which there are many, I may have more to say. Admittedly, I enjoy being both an active and passive participant, and, as many in my role would share, there is value in being present and an active listener. The feeling of positive energy and joy from being with the group augments my calling to this role at The New Jewish Home – a position that is equal parts ministerial, programmatic, coaching, and administrative. I expected to use some of my time to lead or begin additional spirituality groups, and this dimension is impactful for the residents and their home-like community that we endeavor to create and foster during their time with us. The experience of reading or speaking with them is illustrative of how I, as an ordained rabbi, can be inclusive toward a group from diverse faith backgrounds. I, too, feel that I am on the receiving end of the inclusion arrow. The Talmud, in tractate Makkot 10a, discusses cities of refuge (ערי המקלט) and relays that when a student must be exiled to a city of refuge, he is accompanied by his teacher. The Bible named six cities of refuge so that when one individual accidentally killed another, they would flee to one of the cities and avoid harm from the relative of the victim called a blood avenger. The person who fled remained in the city until the death of the current High Priest. Why does the teacher go to the city of refuge as well? A verse in Deuteronomy cited by the sages becomes a prooftext to answer the question: “One who unwittingly slew another without having been an enemy in the past, he could flee to one of those cities and live.” (Deuteronomy 4:42) Our sages believed that a student escapes to one of the cities of refuge to live – and his teacher with him – because of the word ”וחי” – “and live.” Both the student and teacher are engaged in activities that enliven their spirits, and since their studies sustained their lives, the teacher fled along with the student to the City of Refuge. The text goes further to explain that if the teacher/rabbi needed to escape to the City of Refuge, then similarly his students go with him. The provision of learning and gathering with others to explore sacred text is not refuge in the sense it was intended during the designation of Biblical Cities of Refuge. For patients and residents, learning together preserves something that resonates and is a dimension of sustaining themselves. The Gemara adds that Torah is a refuge if you are always studying. If you were engaged in Torah study, you could not be persecuted. The weekly learning and devotionals are not the difference between life and death – freedom or persecution. However, the opportunity to gather and learn gives our residents purpose and is part of the larger vision of person-directed care at The New Jewish Home. Amidst the diverse offerings of a home-like environment in long-term rehab, learning has a place. We have a library to foster intellectual pursuits and be a meeting or worship space. We have a spiritual care team comprised of chaplains and chaplain interns and devotional literature in multiple languages. Yet, the smaller spirituality group such as the Tuesday afternoon group grew from the self-interests of a couple of our residents. This focus on establishing “home like” environments and person-centered care are part of the Green House approach. Empowering the resident community to function in a self-contained and self-sufficient manner with the elders at the center means they are bringing life, meaning to others, and having the spiritual or educational experience they see fit.
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 [I shared this teaching as the guest darshan Shabbat Vayetze 5784 at Congregation Agudath Achim in Alexandria, VA. It was a joy to be visiting my friend and rabbinical school classmate, Rabbi Steven Rein. The Shabbat was two weeks after the March for Israel in Washington, DC. It's there that I took this picture.
I want to also acknowledge some of my feelings that I imagine may be shared by others around the release of some of the hostages in the last day. I feel some relief over the return of those hostages. I am also left wondering what’s next? I want to trust there is a plan for the remaining hostages and have hope that we will see them out of Gaza. And I will continue to hold my breath. I have been holding my breath for the 40 plus days, and I’m a bit unsure what will make me feel like I can exhale. Rabbi Mark Biller points out the way in which the Parsha starts with Jacob dreaming of angels moving up and down the ladder – they are distinct, separate from him. The parsha ends with the angels meeting him directly. The angels of God encountered him. Rashi explains the angels appear to help Jacob on his journey. Whereas at the beginning of the Parsha, Jacob stops and with the intention of resting – praying even – he encounters the angels in a dream. The end of the parsha, when Jacob is again on the move and still far from reaching his destination, is when he encounters the angels. There is a great deal to be said by someone else in another sermon about what happens in between throughout the parsha. I want to focus on these two verses and share one midrash. וַיִּפְגַּ֨ע בַּמָּק֜וֹם וַיָּ֤לֶן שָׁם֙ כִּי־בָ֣א הַשֶּׁ֔מֶשׁ וַיִּקַּח֙ מֵאַבְנֵ֣י הַמָּק֔וֹם וַיָּ֖שֶׂם מְרַֽאֲשֹׁתָ֑יו וַיִּשְׁכַּ֖ב בַּמָּק֥וֹם הַהֽוּא׃ “[Jacob] came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones from that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place.” (Genesis 28:11) וְיַעֲקֹ֖ב הָלַ֣ךְ לְדַרְכּ֑וֹ וַיִּפְגְּעוּ־ב֖וֹ מַלְאֲכֵ֥י אֱלֹהִֽים׃ Jacob went on his way, and messengers of God encountered him. (32:2) What is this word וַיִּפְגַּ֨ע and what can it mean that it’s repeated in this way? Given that the text talks of these encounters, we can conclude Jacob was praying. He prayed when he stopped and rested, and he prayed on the move. He was constantly praying. The prayer is, one might say, what kept Jacob moving. Amidst the movement, the place where Jacob stopped is not at first named. It’s only a few verses later that the text tells us the name of the place. The word makom appears three times. The first and last time the word used is ba’makom, and in the middle it’s ha’makom. Or HaChaim[i] – written by R’ Hayyim ben Moshe who was a Talmudist and Kabbalist – says ba’makom means Jacob arrived to a place that was inhabited. He came to a place that had a name and though he did not recognize it, was familiar to others. This is why at the end of the paragraph we’re told that the town had previously been named Luz. What does Jacob do when he arrives there? In addition to the prayer, he rested. He takes a rock from the place, places it under his head and rests. The Or HaChaim explains that inasmuch as many dreams contain matters without significance, the Torah added the word ”והנה” to indicate that in this dream every detail is not only vivid and it is significant. Jacob had a complete recall of everything he dreamt and referred to each detail later. This is why ”והנה” is repeated before every segment of the dream. Jacob was, we might say, paying attention to the signs. Returning to the stones for another moment, Jacob took from the stones of the place – וַיִּקַּח֙ מֵֽאַבְנֵ֣י הַמָּק֔וֹם – implying there were multiple stones and from these he made his pillow. (28:11) When he awakens in verse 18, it says that he took the stone – וַיִּקַּ֤ח אֶת־הָאֶ֨בֶן֙. Evidently the many stones that Jacob first had were now one. Noting this inconsistency, Rashi (b. Chullin 91b) comments “the stones upon which Jacob rested his head fought over which would have the honor of serving as his pillow”. “The stones began quarreling with one another. One said, ‘Let the righteous man lay his head on me,’ and another one said, ‘Let him lay [his head] on me.’ Immediately God made them into one stone.” I like Rashi’s inventive approach and his desire to elevate the nature of the place where Jacob was staying. I also see this midrash as praising Jacob. Rashi is saying that by being there, Jacob brings kedusha – holiness – to the place. In the moments of fleeing his brother, perhaps feeling some abandonment of home and other family members and at the same time blessed and supported by some, Jacob is somewhere else. His body is in one place, and his mind in another. Other commentaries suggest that Jacob has been here before he just didn’t realize it. Perhaps this is the Torah’s first déjà vu moment. There is a multitude of emotions Jacob could be holding, and I am feeling like Jacob this Shabbat. Continuing to pray, looking for places to pray and hopefully have an encounter that will keep guiding us in the right direction. I hope that we will be reunited, experiencing the joining or strength of community that the rocks themselves symbolize when they give comfort to Jacob. [i] Rabbi Hayyim ben Moshe ibn Attar (1696-1743) was a Talmudist and Kabbalist wrote his commentary Or HaChaim. Dear B.
Mom and I have been tasked with writing a note to go with this journal that you will have with you during your upcoming Israel trip. We’re so very excited for you, and we hope that you encounter Israel in the coming days with the love and enthusiasm that you did when we first took you and your brother to Israel a few years ago. What do we write to you as you embark on this opportunity? What do we share with you when you already love Israel? You love the food – most of it – and will enjoy eating with friends, second cousins during a host Shabbat, and a meal perhaps with your great aunt who lives in Israel. You love the Hebrew language having demonstrated an ability to use it in your studies, leyning at school, and in our community at home. Your love for the language is apparent when you listen to Israeli music in the car. I know that you’d love attending an Ishai Ribo concert as much as me. You love your memories and stories from our previous trip, even if it was a long time ago. You love talking about your visit to our cousins on a moshav and helping others at Pantry Packers. And you love reminding me that you climbed higher than me during a water hike near En Gedi. Since you asked us what you could bring us home from you trip, there are a few things that come to mind and putting these into writing in your new journal is a good idea: 1) A.M. Rosenthal once wrote in The New York Times “To understand Israel and the road ahead, first read history. Then buy a map.” (July 4, 1989) Ben, buy a map or buy many maps! You’re a voracious reader and your ability to learn history through your individual reading as well as in school is awesome! And we know your interest in maps. Every time we explore a new place, you like to find the maps and have one for yourself. The land of Israel is complicated, and her various maps teach us a lot, so buy a map and keep seeking to understand as you forge ahead. 2) Keep loving Israel: Love the food, love the language, and love being with your friends and family while you’re there. Deepen your relationship by asking questions and listen to the myriad answers you get. Make good choices and take care during your visit. Treat Israel as you would your own home and ensure that you leave spaces in good care so that you and others can visit in the future. 3) Pictures: Your Zayde is fond of saying that the pictures we take with our minds are as significant as those we might take with a phone or camera – remember those?!. As you explore new areas and return to some places you’ve already seen, take pictures. See Israel for who She is through your perspective and via others lenses. 4) Use your journal: Now that we’ve taken over the inside cover of your journal, there should be a few pages left for you to write your questions, record a few answers, and deepen your relationship with Israel. One of my early mentors shared with me “the more you read and write, the better you can express yourself.” (Kevin Harlan, former voice of the KC Chiefs on 101 The Fox) Write in your journal, draw something, and use the space within to express yourself. That will be your greatest gift to us, to the world, and most important to yourself. Israel’s roots run deep and we’re so excited for you to strengthen your foothold in this part of your Judaism – your Zionism – and fill the spaces with as much as you can. We love you so much and can’t wait to see you when you return. Love Mommy and אבא P.S. if you can find a KC Mahomes kippah in Hebrew, I’ll take that too! For two weeks this summer, I was a visiting educator at Ramah Sports Academy. My responsibilities were fairly typical for a visiting rabbi at camp: leading classes for campers and staff, supporting a particular edah (age group). But I also had an opportunity to assist the summer mashgiah in assessing and repairing the eruv before Shabbat. The camp’s eruv—a ritual legal enclosure fixed for the purpose of allowing activities such as carrying from one domain to another on Shabbat—was constructed using some of the natural boundaries around camp. To identify the sightline of the trees at the far end of a field or a stream of water that connects one part of camp to another as part of the created boundary, string and small wooden posts (lehim) were affixed along parts of the camp periphery.
When it was my turn to get in the golfcart and check the eruv, I was expecting some fun along with a minimum of physical labor. Yet securing the eruv, and thereby providing others the opportunity to navigate a dimension of Shabbat, offered an occasion to think about the responsibility we hold toward others in our Jewish community. When the work was complete and Shabbat arrived, I had a newfound appreciation for the purposes of eruvin and understanding of kol yisrael arevim zeh ba’zeh: “all of Israel are responsible for each other.” Creating a ritual opportunity and peace of mind for an entire community is a sacred task and, having previously discussed these ancient words with campers, I now had a more personal connection to these safeguards.  The following is posted with my son's permission following his Bar Mitzvah celebrated last week - Shabbat Parashat Naso. What a weekend and what a week it's been since that time! Michele and I remain proud and in some awe of the strength and skill with which he delivered his remarks and did everything else throughout the weekend. I was so happy when he said that I could share his Torah on this site for others to enjoy.
Shabbat Shalom! (Picture from rehearsal...he did not wear a t-shirt on his bar mitvah!) Naso Written by Ben Cohen for the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah | May 22, 2021 This past Chanukkah, I volunteered to do the Chanukah Torah reading/ for school. I was talking with Cantor Stevens about it /and she said that the readings for the Chanukah Torah readings /come from Naso, which happened/ to be my bar mitzvah parsha! In the end, even though I was prepared/, I couldn’t do the Chanukah Torah reading /because I needed to quarantine. However, that did give me a jump in preparation for today and this morning I will read the first, sixth, seventh and maftir aliyot. What I want to talk about is the fact that the sixth and seventh aliyot repeat the same trope /AND WORDS over and over again. That certainly made it easier/ for me to learn the 6th and 7th Aliyot These pesukim/ describe the sacrifices given by each tribe and presented by each leader to God. Because all the tribes and leaders were “equal” the trope and the words were exactly the same each day (except for the names and the different tribes) . as I said This made it much easier to learn the aliyot The reason each leader had the same thing was because they were supposed to be equal in their offerings. The offerings were an honor after all and each leader deserved to be recognized but no one more than the other to prevent jealousy. There was however one leader Nachshon who’s title wasn’t listed when he presented his offering to God. I wondered If each leader's offering was supposed to be equal, why his title was not stated. The French commentator Chizkuni reasons that because he was presenting his offering first he should not have his title listed as to prevent him from feeling entitled. Being recognized for something first and important can often lead to becoming arrogant and therefore nachshon’s title isn't listed because he's first. Being the first to do something important and holy such as this can be enough recognition and it's also really big. Sometimes it’s good to be recognized for doing something good or important and to have a special moment. Other times being singled out can be embarrassing or negative; for instance being singled out in a school environment for doing something wrong can be especially embarrassing. But even if it's for a good thing, if someone is modest, it can be hard to be the center of attention. Clearly this was not the case here. Each leader was singled out and recognized as an honor. This ceremony of presenting the offerings to God is much like Siddur and Humash assemblies at the Leffell school. Each child is given their chance to have a special moment in the spotlight but no one kid is more “important” than another. Each of us gets to go up, receive the Siddur or Humash, pose with the headmaster, and be congratulated. It’s nice to hear the clapping and receive recognition for your hard work. You are valued for who you are alone and not just as a group of kids who just did something. I don’t always need the clapping, though. For Example I like to draw and when I draw I work hard on it and then often feel a sense of relief when I finish. Although I Sometimes show my parents what I draw, the art is mostly for me to appreciate. I like recognition for my accomplishments but I don’t need it all of the time. Art for me is one of those times where I am often just happy to feel my own sense of accomplishment without the “applause”. There are many times when people don’t get the recognition they deserve. At those moments, I wish they did get recognition and applause. Recently I read an article about black baseball players in the Negro Leagues who weren’t inducted into the Hall of Fame when they should have been as they were amazing baseball players. Minority groups have often had a hard time gaining the recognition they deserve in the past and even today. One big issue is the problem of voting rights where minority groups and other types of people have not had their ideals accurately represented and recognized. We continue to see efforts to limit the rights of minorities in spite of the law of the land that stresses equality for all people regardless of who they are or what they look like. The commentator Chizkuni said one more thing about the gifts of the leaders. The reason each leader had his own day and was each singled out was so that the offerings would take longer and there would be a long celebration to keep the Israelites happy. My Bar Mitzvah is like this. It’s very drawn out! There’s a service Friday night, Saturday morning services and a lunch celebration with my family. There's also a Saturday night Zoom and a Sunday get together with my friends ! This is obviously more recognition than the princes got as they only had one day whereas I have a weekend! I’m glad that in spite of the pandemic I still get to be with much of my family and be recognized for my hard work. |
Rafi CohenA parent, partner, teacher and coffee enthusiast, Rafi enjoys helping individual students and families find Jewish meaning in their lives. Archives
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